As I see it, fair reader, you likely find royal tours either (1) unambiguously thrilling; (2) dull as dishwater; (3) dull as dishwater and thus quite enjoyable. I fall into the third category, which is why I happily agreed to live-tweet Charles and Camilla’s visit to Ashbridges Bay for the Victoria Day fireworks. Here is my Storified account of the experience.

Simon Reader is a PhD Candidate in English at the University of Toronto. He is co-editor of Penned: Animals in Zoos in Poems (Signal, 2009) and is writing a dissertation about uselessness in Victorian culture.